Monday, March 28, 2016

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS VIDEO FROM NSW6? PILLOW TALK

NIGHT OF THE SPOKEN WORD 6

NSW6 was all about Love. Click on the image below to watch 'PILLOW TALK'. It happens in every relationship, you see, this corner-corner talk about coded things, when lovers whisper to each other across soft pillows. Yes, it happens in every relationship. To watch it captured LIVE at NSW6, click on the link below:



Watch out for NSW7. Coming...OCT 1ST 2016. You don't want to miss it!

You can subscribe to my Youtube channel for more Spoken Word videos@Dike Chukwumerije's Youtube Channel (click)
To get notices of up and coming NSW events, you can like our Facebook page @Dike Chukwumerije's NSW (click)

Thanks!

Dike Chukwumerije

Friday, March 18, 2016

8 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BEING MARRIED TO YOU

After writing, ‘8 THINGS I HATE ABOUT BEING MARRIED TO YOU’, Babe of Life peeped into my study and said, “Hmm, I saw what you wrote on facebook o.” Ah! I have known her long enough to know what “Hmm, I saw what you wrote on facebook o” really means. So, for sake of life and limb, I meekly re-submit:

#8Yearsandstillcounting: 8 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BEING MARRIED TO YOU
1. That I can be awkward without ridicule and naked without shame. Forgive me. This is the reason for all the times I sporadically break into what I think is makossa. And for the unhealthy amount of time I spend in the same boxers every weekend. Forgive me.

2. That we are slowly evolving beyond the need for unnecessary talk. So, look at me now over any dinner table and I will tell you whether you’re saying: “I take God beg you, stop eating that thing as if you don’t see peppered chicken regularly”; or “I take God beg you, eat and pack take-away, because I am not cooking jack when we get home, you hear?”

3. Have I ever told you? Everything about you smells like perfume, even your morning breath. True. It smells like Chanel. And I love it!

NOT LIKE THIS!
4. Those nights when you are sleeping and I get to sit there watching you, yes, but not like Willy-Willy, don’t worry; just thinking – ‘seriously, how did a nerd like me end up with a top to bottom if you doubt it check the label complete chikito like you?’ You know? I like it. Those nights you wake up, and we get to lie there gisting – like friends, not lovers – in the darkness. In fact, I love it.

5. I feel safe enough to say these things, you know? I am afraid, I don’t know, I feel my life is spinning out of control. You know? You keep my secrets. Better still, you forgive me for having them at all.

6. The way we fight these days, not at all like before, when your mouth was Ogbunigwe, and my expertise was 7 days silence. Sometimes, I still ask myself - what the hell were we smoking? Trying to knock out the teeth of somebody you will wake up next week and try to kiss? What? Biko, I like the way we do it now, like boxers planning to retire without debilitating head injuries.

7. Our children. Sometimes, they smile like you. Sometimes, they frown like you. Sometimes, they sit there absent-mindedly singing, “oyigiyigi o o o’, just because they hear it blaring out of your car stereo every morning on the way to school. You see, I like the way they are beginning to resemble you, down to the same nervous break down at the possible sighting of a cockroach… In fact, I love it.

8. You are the color of our carpet, the paintings on our wall, the two armchairs that sit in a corner, straight out of a John Lewis brochure, but made for a fraction of the price by the local carpenter you found. Undisputed: you are the reason I live in the coziest, coolest, (never mind the buckets we have to put here and there to catch the drip when it rains), most beautiful house I have ever lived in. Undisputed: you are my home.

Happy anniversary.
(Ehm…please, can I come back into the room now? Biko. I will not post anything on facebook again without permission. Biko.)


Images taken from:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51hE8ymr3XL._SX522_.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/d9/58/49/d9584949f7cf2f942c994f4e4e39f3ef.jpg
https://forestparkchurch.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/FTDF2.jpg
http://sellingrockymountainhomes.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/happy-home.jpg


Friday, March 11, 2016

8 THINGS I HATE ABOUT BEING MARRIED TO YOU

1. You are shouting something from somewhere, only God knows what you’re saying. So I look up from my desk and yell, ‘What did you say?” You shout back something, only God knows what you’re saying. So, I grumble to myself, get up, walk to the top of the stairs and yell, “What did you say?” And you shout back something, only God knows what you’re saying. So, I hiss to myself, walk down the stairs, to the door of the living room, and find you curled up on the couch reading. So, I take a deep breath and ask quietly, “What did you say?” And, looking totally surprised to see me there, you peer over your book and say, “Oh, I was just wondering where you were.”

2.  If I ask upstairs, then ask downstairs, then ask before I start peeling it if you want dodo and you say, ‘No, no, no’. Then I peel it and fry it, sit down to eat it, and you sit opposite me – and in the name of ‘keeping me company’ – take one single dodo and put in your mouth. I hate it.

3.  When I am sleeping and you wake me up because I am snoring. Honestly, before God and man, is it fair?

4. You complain and complain that you take care of everybody in this house from morning till night and nobody ever takes care of you. So I get up the next morning and say I will make you breakfast, and you act excited and follow me to the kitchen. Then I open the cupboard and select one pot, and you sigh like someone recently bereaved. So, I ask, ‘What is it?’ And you say, ‘That is my wok. I only use it when I’m making Chinese fried rice’. So I select another one, and you say, ‘Ehm, I don't use that frying pan anymore.’ And I turn around and ask, “Should I let you do this?” And you say, “Perhaps it is best”.

5. You come into the sitting room. I am watching a movie. You ask, “What is that?” I press the “i” button. You read the info and say, “This is a nice movie, why didn’t you call me?” I say, “Sorry”. You sit down. Three seconds later, you ask me, “Who is this man?” I say, “I don’t know. I have not watched the movie before.” Ten seconds later you ask me, “Is he going to kill her?” I say, “I don’t know. I have not watched the movie before.” Six seconds later you scream and ask me, “Will she die?” Honestly, I hate it.

6. You hold up 2 dresses and ask me to pick one. I do a quick ‘tun-bum-tun-bum’ in my head and point to the one in your right hand. “Really?” You look disappointed. “Doesn’t it make me look fat?” So, I point to the one in your left hand. “Really?” You look disappointed. “I think it makes me look short.”

7.  When we are sitting at a table somewhere and a girl with a ‘look at it’ bum walks past and you immediately start looking into my eyes, and keep looking into my eyes till she has passed the point where I can only see the glory by very obviously turning my head… Honestly, before God and man, is this fair?


8.  Now, you are frowning. So, I ask, “Is everything ok?” You say, “Yes.” And I go back to writing this article. Please, how is this ‘insensitive’?


Image taken from:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWjjhItffx8TwHLhKIjHU25Dj4TryX2MfBHryHrOqwKiwChno3GO61u-qk-QQ7Tsf9xxdnRzjqMMzfBeyOm9L_sZqUWBE4TInG9qMg1ewC7zoSfWlJcwjI88GJukVDXAknADSAN0OHz5w/s1600/Love+Fighting+Gloves.jpg