I know. You only
behaved like that because you thought it would be noiseless and odourless. But
now people are scampering to the left and right, and someone is even screaming
at the top of his voice, "Whoever did this thing eh, e no go better for
am!" (He is referring to you). But don't worry. God does not answer
useless prayers.
Yes. It is a thing
done by all. Beauty Queens and others, house boy and master, drug pusher and
the NDLEA staff that nabbed him, no matter, all have stomachs that rumble and,
should it linger long enough, will sprout the same sweaty forehead, and twist subtly
for freedom, regardless of who nearby would be provoked into unleashing their
inner juju priest as a result. You understand?
Because God does.
He made the hole after all. He knows these things; that make-up is, well, made
up, and no one really wakes up looking like the cover page of Vogue; that picture-perfect
is all the stuff that's cleverly hidden, and a human being without an arse-hole
has more things to worry about than the one who uses it a bit too often. You
understand?
Because, like a
rocket, the effort to move forward quickly sometimes causes a loud explosion in
the opposite direction, yes? Nothing to worry about, my brother, it is the ying
and yang of life, that a woman in labour will push out many unprintable things
before the baby's head crowns, and if you wrinkle your nose at the first discharge,
and (in the voice of a British butler) say, "Oh, this is all rather nasty,
could you keep it in please?" It is true, you will see no more crap, but,
well, no baby as well.
Can you imagine?
So, let it be known if it needs to be known, that there are days when we must
tell the guardians of etiquette and protocol to shut the hell up. No. Not
because we have misplaced our Sunday manners, but because we are in the middle
of something big and in dire need of all our goddamned energy to get it out. Do
you understand?
That it takes a
little effort to look presentable - to tie the hair in a neat bun and look away
in time to burp - but on some days even this little is a little too much. Yes.
For the effort to become everything we can always demands everything we have,
don't you know? When we are there, against the walls of our limitations, exerting
to the max, pushing against these barriers with all of our strength, that is also
when we are most in danger of releasing one? Yes. Deal with it. You hear
me? Deal with it.
For, I tell you, if
Life just happens to have woken me this morning on an important errand, and this
is the day you also happen to decide that you are going to be standing by the road
ticking off who says it correctly - fork, fok or fek - please, do not be angry,
if I find a fork and chook you with it. Yes? This is it, my brother. That we
must not go around farting just because. But - never ever let one stand in the
way of giving Life your absolute best, yes? Use wisely.
#nsw7
Our own Poetry is real
Image taken from:
http://blog.sociusassociates.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Etiquette2.jpg
http://www.etiquettescholar.com/images/dining_etiquette/table_setting/informal_table_setting_picture_largeweb.gif
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