There are many shades of black. I know because the girls sitting in the row behind me couldn't really keep their voices down. So, let me tell you, there is a kind of black that is 'shining black'. "That one is good. Like that guy over there in the pink shirt. I can marry that kind. But, ah, let nobody come near me with 'mechanic black' o. You know, that dirty, dusty kind of black…" My brother, I had to glance over at the guy in the pink shirt, then down at my own hands.
But, apparently, being too 'fair' is not such a great thing either, at least not for a man. Too feminine. So (just guessing) the best combination would be 'shining black' man and 'yellow paw-paw' woman. Truly, I like this stage of things; when the page is still blank, and you're blissfully matching star signs and skin complexions. So, how does it go now? Choleric does well with Melancholic? Water Signs go with Fire Signs? Wide hips should marry athletic shoulders? Ah! Who will 'fit' me?
Hmm. I remember writing a long list - from (and this was 'non-negotiable') 'can cook beans very, very well' to 'does not complain when she has to come back from work and enter the kitchen', even 'says thank-you after constructive criticism from me, for instance (yes, the vision was that clear), "This your food is a bit salty" and she says: "Thank you, dear. I will do better next time".' My brother, honestly, these lists whittle themselves down.
Because, a REAL woman – now, I don't care which Church, Mosque or Shrine she attends – will look at you, first. (If you have seen that look, you will know what I'm talking about.) And, if she's anything near the 'perfect angel' you married, will just do a low 'hmmf' under her breath and go away. But do NOT make the mistake of thinking to yourself, 'Oh, that went rather well'. No. She has gone to wait for you at that very junction where you must pass. Try it. Three nights later, when you reach across to rub her back, she will tell you that cooking that food you said was 'too salty' has now made her 'too tired'.
Honestly, you cannot reduce any human being to bullet points on paper. No. No matter how many the points, or how long the paper; we will still surprise you. My wife did, just the other night. Famous world over for her aversion to horror movies and gory pictures, you can imagine my shock when I walked into the bedroom and found her watching, 'Wives Who Snap And Kill Their Husbands'.
My brother, what do you do? Put two hands on your head and mutter, 'Jesus Christ of Oyingbo'? No. First, go and sit gingerly on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, and watch the thing with her. Now, if she's taken time to make popcorn as well, and is now munching it noisily, please, proceed with greater caution. When you are ready, reach across and touch her arm gently. She will say, 'Hmm?' Don't say anything yet. Wait for her to turn away from that TV first, and look at you. Now, ask (VERY, VERY respectfully), "Baby, o di kwo mma?"
True, it is the very unpredictability of human nature that can make this whole thing fun. You know what? You could even end up loving them for just that thing that made you cross them off at first. Can you imagine? Or grow totally blind to it - what they weigh, how far their hair line has receded, what new wrinkles have appeared on their faces, how closely they, in actual fact, especially when you look from a certain angle, resemble the link evolutionists are looking for. Honestly, my sister, when you find yourself sitting across the kitchen table from them Saturday morning after Saturday morning, still laughing at their 'dry' jokes, it really stops mattering whether they are white, yellow or 'mechanic black'.
And that's when it hits you, lightning bolt out of clear blue skies, 'My God! I'm one of the lucky ones!' One of those who unwrapped the mystery every human being really is and found True Love underneath. Because, you see, no matter how well you do your homework (and you really should do it very well), and no matter how many lists you draw and compare people against, there will always be an element of Luck (or if you like, Grace) to ending up truly happy. So, if it is still applicable to you, my friend, I sincerely wish you some.
Image taken from:
http://www.desiglitters.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Good-Luck-With-Love.gif
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