CAN I LET YOU INTO MY POCKET?

This is all with the benefit of hindsight. But if you ask me now – Dike, be honest, if you are looking at a girl and wondering if you could marry her or not, and you were only allowed to consider ONE thing, what would it be? Honestly? Can I let her into my pocket? Yes, I know, I am Igbo. But if Love had a mathematical formula, Money would be one of the constants. And it’s not that I think it’s a commercial transaction. But relationships don’t run on fumes either. In fact, you could measure ‘LOVE’ by diaries and wallets. Because they always get eaten up by the things we ACTUALLY (not ideally) place the most value on.

However, my mother did NOT raise a fool, so I know where NOT to go – near those people blessed with the uncanny ability to conclusively determine your potential as a LIFE partner from the car you happen to be driving (or not) NOW. But I dated someone once and, after the initial ‘gra gra’, I coughed a little and said – I really can’t keep up with these daily ‘drinks’. She didn’t say anything, but the next time we met, she suggested a stroll. And I thought to myself – I can live with this. Cheap? No. Just on a budget.

And that’s where all the meaningful information really is. The things we buy. The things we don’t buy. How much, or little, we spend on what and why. Not many things we do are as self-revealing as how we use the money we have. So, in many ways, it’s not how much they splash out on you that speaks volumes; it’s what they do with the rest of it. ONE receipt may bend the truth, but spending PATTERNS never lie.

And that, my friend, is the scary part. If I HAD to impress you, I could borrow to do it. But can I show you the WHOLE truth? That I live in that car, or I borrowed that jacket, or I gave you those diamonds but they really cost me nothing; because I winter in Barbados and summer in London, and rented you that apartment with the change in my pocket?

So, for a second, forget butterflies in the stomach as the supreme indicator of affection. Try letting them know how much you earn. And all the OTHER things you do with that money. Try giving them a say in how you spend it. Try telling the TRUTH about the money in your pocket. Well, if you tried any of this, you must now know why most people prefer to keep secrets. But the question you asked was an idealistic one - Dike, be honest, if you are looking at a girl and wondering if you could marry her or not, and you were only allowed to consider ONE thing, what would it be? Well, for me, the question would still be – Can I let you into my pocket? Because, if I could, it would suggest a level of compatibility that is, frankly, out of this world.

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